In fact, I enjoy being alone.

I'm the kind of person who requires 'alone time', lots of it. 'Alone time' not only means being alone physically, but the mentality as well. To me, it's very important for me to have such moments, to collate my thoughts and ponder about the things happening in my life.

How did I grow to become such a person? 

I guess it was a gradual process. I don't know when exactly I started enjoying the times I get to be by myself. In fact, I used to be a clingy kind of person. I'd wish that my best friend(s) would spend lots of time and try out new things with me. But, I realized that was impossible & that was when I started to let go. I let go of the friendships that I expected so much of, I gave up on the potential memories we could have created together. It was a rather miserable time of my life. With so many people leaving my life at different parts of my life, I was numbed to that. I was numbed from all the pain I felt, and shut myself out from many people. I started to reevaluate the people that I should actually prioritize in my life - my family.

It was not long after when I received a huge blow in my life - Grandpa's passing. Just when I thought that I was numbed to people leaving me. That was it, losing a family member that I held so close to my heart. I knew that I would never feel worse than that anymore.

That probably struck me really deeply too. It was a message that I should learn how to be independent. Not to ever think that a person will stay with you forever. Not to be too reliant on others for your own happiness. To learn how to derive happiness from yourself.

This is also the reason why I can't trust a person once he/she has decided to leave my life. "No turning back." That's what I strongly believe in. If you made the decision to leave once, why wouldn't you again? It's easier for a second time isn't it? I guess I'm really tired from people leaving my life so I guess that's my own way of protecting myself from getting hurt once again.

To get myself out of that constant misery, I slowly grew to enjoy being alone. Instead of being caught up by those constant chattering with friends, I started to realize how I can be happy by myself too.

I wouldn't say that I've learnt how to be entirely independent at the moment, but I'm still learning. I still get affected by people around me at times, but it's much lesser than before. Even with this said, I still love the company of my friends and all. It's just that I would feel suffocated if we spend too much time together over a short period of time and that I would prefer if we'd give each other some space. I guess many of my friends would have realized this by now, so it's all good. :-)