you?

12:12 AM

-post-dinner walk talk-
Thank you for dinner tonight.
Thank you too.
But.. why thank me though?
Mm, just.. thank you for tonight. 
It's just nice to have dinner together on a Monday night.
.
.
.

I'm feeling very peace..ful now.
*jokingly* 
I thought you were gonna say pissed.
Isn't peace and peaceful the same meaning? 
(he thought I was saying peace)
I mean, pissedddd.
Oh, I mean peaceful. 
But why?
Like.. I could have dinner.
Uhh, don't you eat dinner every night?
But we had it together.
Ohh.
You?
How are you feeling?
Mmm.. happy?
Same, I'm happy too.
That's good.


--
I admit, my heart has hardened a little over the past month.. 
Or perhaps, the busyness of life has numbed me.

But, tonight as I looked at you and saw the smile that came so naturally on your face as we took a short stroll after dinner, it reminded me that happiness can be that simple. 

I was actually quite shocked when he thanked me for dinner (and two times again after the conversation above). But I guess it was also because tonight was one of the rare times I asked him out first (probably the 2nd time?) ever since we knew each other. He did mention before that I don't really ask him out lol.. but that's just me (being lazy lol)..... T_T In my defense, I rarely initiate making plans with others unless I have a concrete plan.. if not, nope. I did tell him and he said he understands. But I felt really guilty as he thanked me tonight especially even as we parted because it made me realized how I could make him so happy by just a simple gesture like such.. but I rarely did it over the one year plus. 

He's been swarmed at work and feeling tired out everyday but he still insists on meeting on certain days to ensure that I take my meals and for us to spend some time together. Been feeling really guilty as a result because I've done nothing to help him get through this tough transitional phase of his life.. mainly because of my focus on other things.. :\

I really wish that I have better life-management abilities/skills and that I can split my energy and use it on people I deeply cherish but it seems like such an impossible task as of now..

But for you and all that you've done for me, I'll try my best. 
Lord please guide me. :'(

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