2014: The year of ups and (more) downs.
10:18 PMHELLO THEREEEEEE.
Does something look different here? I changed the layout of my blog, and decided to restart this blog! So this is my very first post here for this blog. :-)
So, why did I suddenly come back to blogging..?
BECAUSE As IS FINALLY OVER.
*pops confetti*
I really can't believe how I survived this year. It was really so torturous. There were so many times when I wanted to give up so badly, but I kept on reminding myself that it'd not be worth it to give up now(then). Basically, it was just a mental battle with myself everyday. Those tears and tiredness while studying really mean nothing to me now, because what really matters now is that I've overcame this huge monster. (ok not really what really matters is the results sobs but let me be in denial for now ok T_T)
This year, my daily routine was like school (with like 10001 of extra classes & consultations), eat, study, then try to overcome the temptation of sleeping, and then failing to do so, fail or do badly for my exams, then feeling like a failure and it just repeats. Everyday in school, I struggle to stay awake, and after school, I struggle to complete my work. Missing one day of work would mean more for tomorrow. It just increases day by day, and it becomes a never ending pile. TGIF? I forgot what that meant. Every Friday just meant it's tuition time for me. Also, every weekend, I'd head to the library with Emily & Songen (my study palz) to study for the whole day, and also tuition. Seriously, that guilt when I'm not studying, or zoning out while studying, or just heading out for a dinner with friends, it really felt so terrible. I hated how I was unable to enjoy anything properly.
All these sounds insane right? But I did it.. which is so crazy and part of me is still in disbelief that all these have ended.
I wouldn't have survived all these without the people who stayed by me throughout this period of time. (in no particular order)
Firstly, my classmates, my CT and the other subject tutors.
To my dearest CT, sorry for being nothing but a disappointment every single time. You've never given up on us though, despite us being so rebellious. I'm really thankful for everything that you've done for us, especially that motivational study package that you've prepared for everyone of us. :-)
To my other subject tutors, I'd never forget the patience and guidance you've provided. All of you have been the best bunch of teachers I've ever had thus far, the dedication towards us, the passion to teach. Really so thankful for every single one of you.
Not to forget, my dearest class. I really don't know how I'd survive this year without you all. You all make lessons so much more bearable, with the jokes and everything else. Although from now on, all of us will go on separate ways, I hope we will stay in contact and meet up no matter how things change. I will really miss you all so much.
Second to thank would be this two girls!
Thanks for all the study sessions together, for being my listening ears, for the crazy times from studying, and for just staying by my side no matter how bad things became. Love you two so much and let's meet up soon for our post-As plans! :-)
Thirdly, the snoopz!
You guys are really such a unique bunch. A group made up of so many different personalities. One thing in common you guys have would be the bullying targeted towards me. It's really weird how I don't get irritated or annoyed by it though (I would in the past lol). Instead, the silly antics keep me sane every day, be it in school, or when I'm studying out. I'm really sorry for constantly ditching you all though, but you guys still chose to stick by me. Really can't wait for our (1 day lol) staycation & all the other plans ahead that I hope can be fulfilled.
Haha ok just kidding lol. Although you're not with us physically here, you still constantly motivated us for our exams! Thankful for you too and can't wait for you to be back already! :-)
Also, to Michelle!
Although we've taken different paths after secondary school, you never forgot to constantly motivate me for the preparation of my exams! Thanks for the occasional study sessions together too, and for always being there to listen to me! :')
To my dearest cousin!!!
I can't even express how thankful I am to have you, who truly understand what I'm going through in the family. You're also always there for me as well, and also my weekend tuition and study buddy! So glad that we can rant to each other so comfortably after a long and tiring day at school. Can't wait to fulfill all the plans we've too! :-)
& to my sister!
Although you don't say it, I know you're worried and concerned about me! Thankful to have a sister who went through the same thing as me, and who understands what I was going through. Love you so much and can't wait for all the outings we can have now without the burden of studies (ok just for me lol).
Finally, the most important people throughout this journey are my dearest parents.
My dad, aka my chauffeur (ok just kidding lol), drives me to my study places every time, and always motivating me despite my terrible grades. Although he said some pretty annoying things at times, I know that deep down you're just really worried for me.
My mum, always making sure that I had my three meals and also worry about my health. She wakes up early to prepare breakfast for me, and wishing me all the best for my exams.
I really love my parents so much, for all the support they've provided despite me being such a lacking child. They're also my motivation during this period of time, as they're the last people that I would wish to disappoint. I think they're prepared for the worst already though lol and I really feel that I'd still disappoint them and also everyone above. (sigh)
(crap how did this post become a dedication post lol)
Oh well, I'm just really thankful for all of them and also many others I didn't mention here. I think I should end my first post here so goodbye.
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