♡

Just yet another late night, at 12:05 am, as a multitude of thoughts start to gush in.

Tonight's, however, is a little different.

Just ended a lesson at ycg on how we can learn from Jonah's prayer - to constantly reflect and give thanks for even the most trivial things or in difficult times; and I guess that really left a strong mark in me.

Following the lesson, a lot of things just started to come to mind, especially in this month where I'm really receiving so much from my loved ones and friends around me. Although there may be times where I feel that I'm better off by myself, I still can't imagine how my life would be without them.

Also, I'm really glad that I was finally able to spend some quality time with myself. Not only physically, but in my thoughts as well. It feels as though there're just too many things happening for the past two months (more bad than good things, unfortunately), and my mind was constantly preoccupied with something. It's not that the issues have been resolved, but I finally found peace in my mind and heart, and for that, it's all only possible because of Him.

And yep, I finally feel recharged after a turbulent two months.

It's time for the tears, frustration and negative emotions to move aside, and let God fully enter my heart to let Him take control!!!

And thank God for really wonderful and supportive friends!!! I feel so touched at how all the friends I've invited (even +1 that I didn't invite but asked me) are happy for the decision I've made and are so willing to come down to witness this very significant moment of my life. I'm really excited to take this step that will push me even further in this walk with Him. Thank God for you guys, really!!!

Ahhhhh this post is so incoherent I know. But I really needed somewhere to say out all the different levels of gratitude and love I'm feeling at this moment.

and finally to end off, I just want to thank God for loving me so muchhhhhhhhh. ;_;

It wasn't easy.. in fact, this has been dragging on for months.

I was very sure back then but got more uncertain as time went by.

This time, I was faced with the same question again,

I struggled at giving an answer immediately. I knew that my heart is ready, but there're some circumstances that made me feel very uncertain.

I prayed again and again for an answer, and I thank God that He has given me the assurance and certainty to go for it.

Thanks to those who kept me in prayer.

Now I can confidently say,

A few months back, I surprised my sister with this remark:

She started her guesses with getting material gifts to finding a partner. Went on to give her some hints, saying that it's me wanting to meet someone. So she went on to guess "Meet God?" "Meet Ah Ma?" and a few other guesses, until she came to this guess.. "Meet Daehan?.... OHHHHHHHHHH."

Before she got the right guess, I already told her that it's someone she should know, but wouldn't expect (because it's really quite ridiculous lol). But it was a thought that popped into my mind on a random day.

During that time, I was getting over "this person" because I really had no idea when we'd meet again. Though we probably stay pretty near each other, but the chances of bumping into each other is still very low. & indeed, for that few months, I didn't see "this person" at all.

But recently, I met him again!!!

(Okay I think the answer is getting pretty obvious... and I'm feeling embarrassed to even type it out.)


I actually thought that I wouldn't get to see him already but I guess God decided to grant this little birthday wish of mine by giving me the opportunities.

Got to meet & teach him again (as mentioned previously), and got to see the radiant smile he gives whenever I see him. This time, however, was a much shorter time. Only got to see him thrice, and today was the last time. No idea why I'm not feeling as sad as I thought I'd be though? Maybe because it's the second time I'm "saying goodbye" to him again. This time I didn't tell him that I'm leaving again though.. kinda just going to disappear lol.

Before continuing, I shall blog down about the final two sessions I had with him:

15th July 2016

Friday night, the time that he'd come for lesson. At about 1h close to the closing time, he came in with a new top (a long-sleeved batman pullover), not forgetting to put on that cheeky smile. Didn't realized it was him at first due to the new top, but confirmed it when I saw him constantly looking over lol. Finally acknowledged his arrival with a smile and he proceeded to start on his work. He had a test to be done that day, but he wasn't very focused and kept turning around to get my attention. So I finally went to him after I was done with the questions from other students, and he let out a sigh and said, "I reallyyyyyy hate this." He said it in a half-serious and half-cheeky tone, it was more like he was just being lazy. Tried to motivate him to get it done quickly, and he just grabbed my hand out of a sudden and held on to it lol. Shocked but just continued to get him to complete his test quickly.

After he was finally done, he went on a self-declared break. I caught him doing so and got him to do his other work lol. Reluctantly, he took his worksheets from me and went back to his seat to do his work. And.... that was when all the "Miss Lim! Miss Lim!" began again lololol. He really succeeds in getting my attention by calling me that because I just feel so embarrassed by him calling me that so I'd quickly head over to stop the "Miss Lim" going all over the class. That went on for quite awhile, till I was sort of numbed to him calling me that.... BUT that wasn't the end?! Out of a sudden, I heard another student calling me that too?! & it was this little girl who was sitting in front of him. I was wondering why she knew.. till Zachary told me, "That's my sister!" Oh my, double trouble. (I kid hahahaha) It was actually quite adorable (minus all the embarrassment I had to bear). So for the next half an hour or so, I was going from one sibling to the other, tending to the endless questions they had. Oh right.. and at times, her sister would call me "teacher" instead, but then Zachary will hear it and say, "Just call her Miss Lim!" #digsaholeandhide & the worst thing was, another student I was also teaching overheard them calling me "Miss Lim" and asked them why they were calling me that. I was just praying that she wouldn't join them if not I'd have to dig a hole and hide 100 ft under.

Talking about Zachary's sister, I was actually quite shocked to see her, though he ever mentioned about his sister to me before. Her character is exactly like Zachary, but the female version lol. Oh and her name is Zoe. A very skinny little child as well.

It was really adorable to see how he took care of his sister though. Because his sister is relatively new so she's not very familiar with the system, so he helped her with her things and was making comments on the number of corrections she had lol.

Anyway, so that was the second last session with Zachary, but a very interesting one because I got to meet his sibling lolol.

16th July 2016

Mischievous Zachary is back. I guess he just becomes so when he gets comfortable again. He was being extra clingy today for no apparent reason.. like he'd follow me around the whole classroom to ask me questions, keep leaning on me, grab my arm and rest on it lol. (not forgetting shouting "Miss Lim" lolol) This would be fine if there weren't the other kids trying to do the same to me too. ;_; one boy just kept pulling my arm to get me over, while some others just had endless questions. Oh an another rather mischievous boy heard him calling me Miss Lim too and started to join in too????? He's a rather loud boy too.............. really wanted to dig a hole and hide for that period of time lol.

Okay back to Zachary. Asked him why his sister wasn't here with him today and he told me she had some other tuition nearby. He kept looking at the time to check if she was arriving, and even went to check on her outside. Oh and before he went out, he said, "I'll go see if she's coming. I'll be back soon." Okay it doesn't sound that funny when I type it here, but just imagine a P3 saying that with a very serious tone.. and considering how he's always so naughty, it was rather refreshing to see that side of him lol.

After he returned, he just continued with the countless questions.. and soon, it was time for him to leave.
--

No idea if anyone's interested to read about this 20 y/o spazzing over a 8 y/o lolol but for memories sake I'll blog it down here hahaha.

And yep, that's it! Really have no idea when I'll see him ever again after this goodbye.. but I felt that the three sessions with him helped to put this very fateful meet to a good closure. :-)

Thank God for this early 'birthday present'!!! :-) #iknowthisisembarrassing

On to the two commencements I've attended this year! Doubt I'll be attending any others so here goes~

First was for the dearest sister! Couldn't get flowers before her ceremony cause it was a morning ceremony + we went there together! Was considering not getting any till I saw them selling flowers at UCC itself lol.



Snapped a few photos before the ceremony and some in between.



And yay to the first graduate among the 3 of us! Really proud of what you've achieved, but I know you'll achieve much more in the future! So this is the start of greater things ahead, with Him of course. & thank you for always giving me advice about many different things throughout my education life! Thank God for placing you in my life. :')

At the second! Pretty flowers but unfortunately, they're not meant to live for long. :-\

Thank God I made it in time for the flag-off! The traffic was so bad + we got lost so it was a really long journey here lol.

Really want to thank God for the very good weather though! I thought it'd be rather warm and sunny given the late timing for flag-off but it was surprisingly very cloudy and windy for most parts of the run! Though I didn't perform up to my own expectations, I'm thankful for God's providence throughout this race.

Though I've tried 21.1km twice (or rather, 22km for one of it due to the inaccurate measurement by the organizer), completing 15km still wasn't easy. The first 10km was alright for me and I was still able to maintain my performance, but everything kinda went downhill after the 10km lol.



But anyway, still completed my 15km!


Post-race carnival~


Reunited with Michelle who went for 10km! She lost her finisher medal right after she got it so that explains the hand-drawn one hahaha. Before meeting her, I bumped into an ex-classmate from secondary school! It was actually quite surprising cause I haven't talked to him much in the past.. but it was a good and short catch up! Really quite interesting to see how they mature over the years too hahaha.


My shoefie with my medal and bib.


And yay! Our third race together, though we didn't run together this time haha.


Although it was pretty inconvenient to get there (no shuttle buses catered), I still really wanted to join RAC 2016 because:

1) It's a cause that I support

2) I've always wanted to try a distance between 10km and 21.1km

3) Wanted a change in route after running the Marina route for most of my races (RAC's was at ECP)

4) I wanted to go back to where I started two years back and remember the reason why I decided to continue running

While I was running, many thoughts flashed through my mind. I started to remember why I chose to sign up for RAC 2014. Other than wanting to take part in a 10km race for the very first time, it's also a small form of support from me to the cancer patients and survivors! Throughout my run in 2014, I kept keeping in mind that what I was going through the run (i.e the ache and fatigue) was nothing in comparison to what they face everyday. And that was what kept me going for RAC 2014, and why I decided to continue running even after that.

My late grandpa was actually the main reason why I chose to join RAC back in 2014 as well. He's the reason why I support the cause.. because it was through the time I got to spend with him while he was battling with cancer that I got to understand and see how much pain and suffering cancer patients have to go through to fight for their own survival.. & I saw how my grandpa fought hard till the very end, always trying to put on the smile for us. Unfortunately, he didn't win the battle and he was taken away from us.

So the reason why I wanted to participate in RAC once again is also for my dearest grandpa. Though it's been five years since he left, he still remains alive in my thoughts and heart.

A run to remember him, a run to remember the reason why and how I began running, and a run to support those who're still battling with cancer.

The journey won't be easy, but fight on!

Wasn't expecting him to be there since Clarissa told me that she haven't seen him for quite some time.. but surprise, surprise, he appeared! Prior to seeing him, I thought it'd be better if I don't see him again.. because that'd mean I have to go through the whole separation thing again, which will be very soon. Despite those thoughts, a part of me was wishing that he'd be there too!

At the start of work, I thought maybe he really wouldn't come already since it was past the usual time he'd come. But approximately 30 minutes into work, I suddenly saw this skinny figure from the corner of my eye. And this figure was staring at me while walking over. (It was actually quite obvious because I was looking down at some worksheets then, and it seemed like he was bending his head to look so as to confirm if it was me hahaha)

I looked up, and saw this familiar boy smiling at me.

(p.s I melted)

"Hello", I said calmly, and he continued to give that smile while walking away.

I was shocked, but I felt sooooooooo happy. Happy to finally see him again, and even happier that he remembers me! Really felt that all my worries disappeared for that instant hahaha.

After that, he went back to his seat and just started to do his work so diligently. I was really so shocked by this because he wasn't like that five months back lol. Felt really glad to see that he matured in a good way, though a little sad that he wasn't as attached as before.

He came over with his completed maths worksheet (with that smile as usual), and since I was free then, I reached out my hand to ask him to pass it to me to mark for him. He passed it to me (still with that smile!!!!) and walked away.

Thought he wouldn't be asking me any questions (like how he used to) already, till I suddenly saw this worksheet being slipped in front of me. Looked up and it was him! At this moment I was feeling happy and thankful that some things really remain the same no matter how time passes. It's even more shocking cause he's at the age where their 'favourite teacher' changes very quickly. Proceeded to teach him and found that he's much more focused than before! Really love this side of him. :-)

Another student who made my day was Calista! Actually saw her last week but it seemed like she only half-remembers me lol (like she was just staring but didn't act like her usual self in front of me) so I thought maybe she had forgotten about me. But today, she walked over to my table and said, "I'm going to draw the eraser! I still have that eraser. It's on my daddy's car." I was shocked since I thought she had forgotten about me, but even more shocked that she remembers this memory from more than half a year ago?! Kids are really so impressionable, which is super adorable when it's in a good way.

Saw Ashlee too, but she didn't see me at the start. She later also joined in the 'staring-to-confirm-it's-her' group and then she started to ask me questions like how she did in the past. :-)

Really happy to be able to reunite with a few of my favourite kids from my old workplace today. What more, to know that they still remember me. That's probably one of the best feelings in the world! I'm really thankful and overjoyed to see all of them again. Though it won't be for long, I hope to cherish the time I will have together with them!