Heart bursting with gratitude.. towards the Lord. :-)
Week 3, and there (already) came the point where I almost came to a point of "snapping". Perhaps it was the holidays that made me find it harder to cope with this back-to-school thing, or my "adventurous" self in wanting to challenge myself by signing up for presentations so early in the semester.
Furthermore, the semester didn't exactly start well. I didn't get most of the modules I wanted initially. Those that I had interest in clashed with those I needed to take. Other than one module, I only got a core module that I needed. As a result, the first week of school ended up to be a rather aimless one for me, and I ended up attending classes that I wanted to take but didn't get. This resulted in me spending a lot of time in school and not focusing on the modules I had. That drained me a lot mentally, left me upset that most of the modules that I was taking were not of my interest, which was something that never happened in past semesters. I've always believed in taking modules of my interest, regardless of the difficulty (based on seniors' feedback) or the level, because I believe that if I enjoy it, I'll also take on the challenges with (more) joy and no regrets. And indeed, that was how it was in the previous semester where I got to choose all my modules. It was one of the most trying semesters, but also one that I thoroughly enjoyed and learnt a whole lot.
Although I was feeling rather dejected, I decided to quickly tidy up this feeling of aimlessness and move on with the modules I had. But I really have to thank God that I also managed to find this other module that's pretty interesting with vacancies, and for allowing me to get it. However, the issue with taking that module was that it's rather disruptive - it starts in the late afternoon on a day where I did not have other classes, and it clashes with my tuition timing. Decided to e-learn this module with the recorded lectures to ensure that my time would be spent most efficiently. I felt uneasy making this concession though because I really dislike skipping physical classes.. I've only skipped one lecture in my entire uni life thus far lol.. #nerdalert.
When Friday (of week one) came, I got another module that I registered for but didn't know much about. Looked through the syllabus, and thank God, the content was actually beyond the title and description of the module, but something I had interest in. So yup, plan B it is and I moved on to week 2 not expecting any further changes.
But guess what.. on the Tuesday of week two, I received a reply from the administrative staff for my appeal for the module I really wanted. I was fearful to open it initially, as she took much longer than usual to reply to me, so I thought that it could possibly be rejection. But.. thank God. Thank God that she managed to add me into the module, and thank God that I'm able to take this module that I really wanted. (side story: my appeal actually got rejected from the official side) But yes, thank God!!!
When Friday (of week one) came, I got another module that I registered for but didn't know much about. Looked through the syllabus, and thank God, the content was actually beyond the title and description of the module, but something I had interest in. So yup, plan B it is and I moved on to week 2 not expecting any further changes.
But guess what.. on the Tuesday of week two, I received a reply from the administrative staff for my appeal for the module I really wanted. I was fearful to open it initially, as she took much longer than usual to reply to me, so I thought that it could possibly be rejection. But.. thank God. Thank God that she managed to add me into the module, and thank God that I'm able to take this module that I really wanted. (side story: my appeal actually got rejected from the official side) But yes, thank God!!!
There came week 3, finally with a (finally) finalised timetable. But it was a little too late to be settled. I was way behind my work and needed to prepare and settle my presentation that was on Monday, complete the weekly assigned readings and tasks. Fell sick right on the Saturday before, and I really struggled to keep myself awake whenever I was confronted with work to complete. I had to keep reminding myself that I really needed to get it done, but my fatigue wouldn't leave and it took over me most of the time. Even contemplated to miss service on Sunday because of my condition and the preparation I had to do for my presentation on Monday. But.. thank God I didn't.
As amazing (and mysterious) as it may sound, I felt as though I fully recovered right after service. Right before I went in, I was still feeling rather unwell but it was as though all the medication I took finally took effect and my body was healed. Headed home and managed to get my work done in a reasonable time and thank God the two day school week ended pretty well.
As I looked back, I really have so much to thank God for. So many unexpected circumstances and situations which caught me off guard and left me in a state of mess, but through it all, God stayed the same, stayed by my side and guided me through it all.
Walking around these walls
I thought by now they'd fall
But You have never failed me yet
Waiting for change to come
Knowing the battle's won
For You have never failed me yet
Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I'm still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You've never failed me yet
I know the night won't last
Your Word will come to pass
My heart will sing Your praise again
Jesus You're still enough
Keep me within Your love
My heart will sing Your praise again
Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I'm still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You never failed
I've seen You move, You move the mountains
And I believe, I'll see You do it again
You made a way, where there was no way
And I believe, I'll see You do it again
This song also came to me at such a timely moment, reminding me that God will never fail, that His promises still stand and that I'm still in His mighty hands.
Thank you Lord once again. :') Although nothing's going to get easier, I trust that the Lord will continue to provide along this challenging path ahead. :-)
