April 2017

is bread real food?

11:12 PM

go eat a decent dinner ok

What do you mean by decent😂😂

I've been eating decently ☺

real food😂
not bread for dinner haha

haha bread is real fooddd

how is that fake😐

😂😂😂
tht sounded quite funny in my head

*defensive for my bread hahahhaa*

it's not my traditional definition of dinner I guess😬⁠⁠⁠⁠
bread is my breakfast hahahah

you had dinner alr right?😬

yup my dinner is usually 5

bread is life😋

you? you heading home to eat?😬
haha bread is good :)

haha yup heading back

prob gng get a decent dinner first😛

yay 😂👍🏻👍🏻
what are you thinking of 😋😋

🍞

🥖

orh😂

*awhile later*

你吃了吗☺

just finished eating 😂

hahaha okiee
feel happy for you ☺🙃🙂😃😀😄😁😂

for???😂

eating?😂

you sound happier these 2 days lolol

😬😬😬

time to sleeppp

yup

sadly

nooo

Not sad hahaha

our convo always interrupt

It's a blessing to be able to sleep

😂😂😂

hahaha

okay you can sleep on thur haha

...

okay goodnight

I shall go for my blessing

Missed having such simple conversations together. Didn't even realized I sounded "unhappy" or stressed in my online communications too. 😐

But yessss, almost done with Y2S2!!!

Happened to chance upon my 2015 planner yesterday night, which was the planner where I wrote a lot of reflections and my day-to-day schedule. Saw that my university interview happened to be on the 27th April, which is two days from now and the date of my last paper.

It came as a reminder to me that this opportunity didn't come easy and I should quit lamenting about the workload. Why am I taking this hard earned opportunity as something I dread so much now? Did I work so hard in 2013/14 to bring this "misery" to myself?

I should be reminded of how I'm blessed with this education. It's not something that came easy, it's not something I should take for granted, but something I should treasure closely and make full use of with the time I have here. :-)

Thank You Jesus for the timely reminder!!!

And all the best to my dearest friend for tomorrow's interview, you can do this!!!!

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anticipation

8:46 PM

Anticipating the upcoming break this summer.

For a time of rest, renewal and growth.

Initially, I wasn't too sure of what to feel about this feeling of uncertainty as things didn't pan out the way I planned for it to turn out. This left me thinking:

How does God want me to spend this three to four months?

How can I grow in Him in ways beyond my own imagination during this break?

How can I use this time to cultivate the heart of love for all around me, and act on this desire to bless all who need it?

Even if things may end up to how I wish for it to be like, how can I use the time to fulfill the mission He has for me in this three to four months?

Questions left here for my reflections after exams. (in case I forget lol)

Excited for the end of Y2S2. :-)

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Downunder.

12:29 AM

My favourite country as of date happened to be the theme of the event today.

Pastor John Lewis came down from Australia, and as expected, his message was short but powerful.

Today's service really got me reflecting..

Why did I even start?

and.. how did I get to where I am now?

So many memories flooded my mind during the service.. where is my heart as I do all these?

Is it for the One.. or am I just getting by with the event after event? Who am I serving...?

Yes.. I need to have the "eternity in perspective" as Pastor highlighted. Just so coincidental, it's my whatsapp status as well. A reminder to myself that the race is not what's before me, but what's ahead. I may not see the finishing point now, but I will. God will show me. He will show us.

It's tough I must admit.. to constantly realign and remind myself of the finishing point to the Lord. Sometimes, I just want to get by everything and complete the tasks I'm entrusted, but my heart is not with Him.....

Lord.. if this is where You want me to be, I pray that I will grow into a more fruitful child of Yours..

Thank You for speaking to me once again.

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I will

1:12 AM

How timely....

It really sums up what I want to tell my friend now..

When the shadow won’t leave

When the battle won’t stop

And every breath that you breathe

Takes all that you’ve got

When you wonder if you’re always

Gonna feel this way

Hear the Lord of heaven say

I will hold you when you’re breaking

Like a father and a friend

And I will carry you through darkness

‘Til we see the sun again

So rest your head and cry your tears

Know that I am with you here

When you can’t lift that weight

Believe me when I say I will

I know you’re feeling overwhelmed

Before the day even begins

But I can see beyond the now

This is not how your story ends

And when you’re at your weakest

Oh I’ve never been more strong

So let me be the one you’re leaning on

I will dry your eyes

I will calm your fears

I will show you how you’re beautiful, beautiful

I will walk with you

On the raging sea

And I will never leave

When there’s a door that you can’t open

When there’s a war that you can’t win

I will, I will, I will

My heart hurts so.. so much now....

I'm so fearful of my loved ones losing the gift of salvation...
... but I'm not brave enough to speak up.

God.. please give me the words and the courage, anoint me to reach out to my loved ones.

I don't ever want to leave this world regretting.. "If only I did..".

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blessed assurance

12:37 AM

Sidetrack for a little.. currently doing my assignment and having a pile of secondary sources on my table, with the book 'Jesus I Need You' on my table my as well.

My dad saw it and he jokingly said, "Err.. why do you need the Jesus book to do your assignment?"

But yes daddy, I really need Jesus through this long night with my work. :-)

God has been really amazing in sustaining me for the past few days!!! I'm one who cannot survive on few hours of sleep, but I'm still relatively okay even though I've been sleeping 2h on average each day this week lol.

Really thank God! ♡♡♡ Blessed assurance indeed. :-)

Actually wanted to blog out of a sudden cause of another thing I had to get off my chest (before I continue with my 2.5k words..).

I really can't bring myself to say things I don't mean.

Which means, I can't bring myself to lie (in most situations)..

and I can't bring myself to act like I'm alright with things I'm not okay with.

I will be really disgusted by myself if I ever become that way one day...

Thank God that He's reminding me that's it's perfectly fine to not react according to the "norms" and "shoulds" of the world, but to anchor to Him through all these moments.

The tears really just couldn't stop falling today at the earlier service. From the start till the very end. It hurts, it really hurt so much to see things being this way now.

But, thank You for holding onto my tears and granting me comfort even though today's supposed to be a celebratory day for Your resurrection.

May my love for You be more and more each day as I discover more of Your wonderful mercies each day.♡

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Your mercies are new every morning

3:12 AM

As surely as the sun will rise

You'll come to us

As certain as the dawn appears

You'll come let your glory fall

As you respond to us

Spirit reign flood our thirsty hearts

With holy fire again

My rock and redeemer shall not be moved

I'll wait upon you Lord

You'll come let your glory fall

As you respond to us

Spirit reign flood our thirsty hearts

With holy fire again

You'll come let your glory fall

As you respond to us

Spirit reign flood our thirsty hearts

With holy fire again

You will come

Initially intended to be a gift that I got from Sydney for a friend, but there was a part of me that felt that God wanted me to use it more, rather than giving it away.

Every single time I read the devotions inside, it really speaks to me so much and pierces through me. Thank You Lord for the encouragement and comfort through this unexpected gift from You to me.

You guide.

You provide.

You love.

I cannot be more thankful towards the Lord and I really cannot imagine a day of my life without Him anymore.

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focus

12:53 AM

How did the two to three weeks just passed like that?

Shocked when I saw your text again, with a sense of unfamiliarity and tinge of not-knowing-what-to-reply.

The days passed faster than I expected, the days that I thought would crawl were just gone like that.

Looking back, many things really happened in the past two to three weeks.

Many downs, many heart-wrenching moments, many stressful moments, many tears and sorrow.

But through it all, the first thought that came to my mind amidst these moments was always the Lord and Him alone.

My head and heart was way too cluttered for me to look to any others. His constant providence in my times of distress has made me rely on Him even more with each passing day.

I thank God for the fast from many of my worldly dependencies for the past 21 days and for the constant Hand in comforting and guiding me through good and bad times.

Thank You for being You and thank You for wiping away my tears even though my sins were the cause of your crucifixion on the Cross.

I love you Jesus.

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helpless

1:47 AM

What can I do in such a situation..?

When I feel like no words will help to relieve any pain you're feeling..

It feels very heart-wrenching to be in this position of helplessness, but we all know that you're hurting so much more..

The words we dread to hear, the people we never want to lose.. the questions that flood our heads, "Why them?.. Why not take me away instead?"

Six years ago, I questioned repeatedly when he was taken away from me.

"He left," two simple words that pierced and left me in pieces when I picked up the phone after my exams.

I couldn't believe what I just heard.. I did not know what to do..

I was just.. torn.

I thought I'd never be able to recover from the loss, crying for the entire week and mourning over my loss.. thinking, "what could I have done more?"

But today and now, I have found the answer and peace to those questions.

The scars that I thought would never heal are well stitched back. It hurts occasionally and memories with him still flood back when I relook at them, but they are also a reminder to myself.. to be contented with what I have, the simplest things, to love my loved ones with all I am, to live each day to the fullest.

Above all, trust Him with all the plans He has paved for each and everyone of us.
We may not understand now, but one day, we will.

Stay strong my dearest friend.. these are probably the words I'd never be able to utter to you in real life, but I hope one day when you read this, you've found your answers and peace in your heart.

Always here for you.

Love,

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image of love

9:56 PM

Little unexpected wins :-)

Thankful to the One. ♡

May my heart and soul remember to constantly look and rest in His embrace with Good Friday and Easter approaching.

To remember the love on that ancient cross, the significance and weight of it. ♡

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solitude

10:35 PM

lesson for them, but a much needed reminder for myself too !!!

Solitude;

Not a time of aloneness and nothingness,

But in Him we dwell, in Him we will renew.

20 more days to a good long break! :-)

Shall try to blog about my life after all the hustle ends~~!!

Or.. will it ever? .____.

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is bread real food?

anticipation

Downunder.

I will

blessed assurance

Your mercies are new every morning

focus

helpless

image of love

solitude

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