Although it has been ongoing since early last year - where I cried buckets over for, I gradually come to find peace in my heart. 

Whatever happens, I know I'm still in God's hands. 

But honestly I'm feeling really fearful tonight. 

Fearful for all the changes, fearful of losing my loved ones, fearful that everything will just snap one day.

But I really want to put my full trust in God. 

I want to trust Him that regardless of whatever that happens even if it means losing him, I pray that he will recognize his wrongdoings, repent and change for the better.  

That's really the last thing I can ask from him now. I don't expect anymore.. really.