Tuesday Doodles

Forever You are Lord, my Everything.

Just as how the sermon last Sunday on single-mindedness has been stuck at the back of my mind for the past two days, God spoke to me during my run today.

Tbh, I wasn't feeling the best today. No idea of the reason behind this feeling of frustration and dissatisfaction in my mind and heart. 不具名的悲伤 like I told my sister. One that resulted from no particular origin, but I just felt so.. broken. 

Thankful for the catch up over lunch with this two though. Been way too long since our last. :-(

Went off to my favourite cafe and planned to clear my work for this week. Thought I got it all covered with a nice drink and the ideal environment. But.. my heart felt so messed up. And.. I don't know why. I decided to shut my phone and focused on doing a bit of work and resting. It's just felt like I had the urge to revert back to who I was years back - to indulge in the me-time just for myself. It was then God reminded me on how I should be spending such moments. I'm not alone, He's with me. Why was I trying to be by myself when He was clearly there with me? I decided to put the work aside and started doodling and focused on finding rest in Him.

No idea why that time left me super worn out and I was dozing off on the train ride back home. Still felt slightly burdened even as I journeyed back. 

Was feeling slightly lazy too (and demoralized over my horrible run yesterday) after I got back but decided to drag myself out to clock a short distance. The negative thoughts still plagued me at the first km or so.. but it slowly subsided.. and disappeared when Your Presence by Planetshakers played.

All of my life I've searched for You Lord

You called me to Your side

With all of my heart, I'm desperate for more

Your presence is my life

The cry of my heart

Is to be where You are

In that time of brokenness, God spoke to me through this song; that I need Him, not just yesterday, during the school semesters, but everyday of my life and forevermore. My heart was really crying out and desired to be where He is. He brought me there to Him. My heart slowly filled up again, by His presence as I ran a much longer distance than my original plan.

It just felt like such an uplifting and refreshing time - just God & I. Much more than the times where I planned to spend time with Him, He always comes at the right time and moment. Much needed reminder that God is always by my side.. it's just whether I choose to open my heart and mind to receive Him. 

Really super thankful for this time together with them last Friday too. Though we see one another at least once a week, being able to catch up freely in this setting with no time constraints is so much more enjoyable. Thankful to God for blessing me with every single one of them. This photo captures 5 very important people in my life at this point of my life. Eternally grateful to Him for these blessings in my life. :')